Joker's Baby, Batman's Maybe
by Donny304
Summary: The Joker and Harley have the baby but, since they're both locked up in Arkham Asylum they decide to escape with the baby boy. When Batman finds them he brings them back to Arkham, and keeps the baby boy after he finds where they hid him. Please R&R.
1. Escaping with Baby

I know that someone is in the process of writing a fan fic where The Joker and Harley have a baby but, this one is different. The Joker and Harley have the baby but, since they're both locked up in Arkham Asylum they decide to escape with the baby boy. When Batman finds them he brings them back to Arkham, and keeps the baby boy after he finds where they hid him.

Chapter 1: Escaping with Baby

"Are you sure we're going to get out Mr. J?" Harley asked concerned cradling their baby boy.

"Trust me Harleykins we'll make it out with Junior and we'll be a family." The Joker smiled.

The Joker finally digs them out from underground. He pokes his head out and looks around.

"Some security." The Joker laughed.

"Here Puddin' take Junior." Harley said as she handed their baby to him.

The Joker takes the baby from her as she gets out of the tunnel.

"I still think we should have named him Jack." The Joker frowned.

"I think Jake is a better name." Harley smiled as she gently took the baby from him.

"At least it begins with a J." The Joker smirked.

"So, what are we going to do now?" Harley asked him.

"Fine a place to live to raise Little J." The Joker told her.

"But, Mr. J we don't have any money." Harley pointed out.

"We'll rob a bank." The Joker stated.

"With the baby?" Harley then asked outraged.

"No Pumpkin, we'll hide him so place where no one can find him except for us." The Joker explained.

"I guess that could work." Harley said with some hesitation.

"What is Harley?" The Joker questioned sensing something was wrong.

"I don't want to leave Little J alone." Harley answered looking down at the baby.

"He won't be alone for long." The Joker reassured her.

"If we're not going to be gone for too long, I'll do it for Junior's sake." Harley smiled.

"That's the spirit Harley." The Joker then smiled.

They find an abandoned apartment to leave the baby until they get back.

"We could live here." Harley told him.

"All it needs is a few things here and there." The Joker said looking over the apartment.

Before they leave the apartment the door flies open.

"Welcome to our house warming party Batsy." The Joker laughed as he saw Batman standing there in the doorway.

"No time for talk Joker." Batman told him.

"All Harley and me were trying to do is raise a family." The Joker replied.

"That baby shouldn't be raised by you two." Batman growled.

"Sure, we can use some counseling but, we're good people." Harley told him.

Batman turns to Harley and The Joker goes to hit Batman. Batman turns around and punches The Joker in the mouth.

"Are you alright Puddin'?" Harley asked concerned about The Joker.

"If it's a fight you want Batsy, it's a fight you'll get." The Joker laughed as he stood up.

"Not in front of the baby." Harley told him.

"Fine, let's take this outside." The Joker told Batman.

Batman follows him outside. The Joker puts up his dukes.

"Are you going to hit me or not?" The Joker asked aggravated.

Without warning Batman clocks The Joker in the face with his fist and sends The Joker down the stairs to the ground. He picks up The Joker by the collar of his shirt.

"I'm bringing you and Harley back to Arkham Asylum and finding a good home for that child." Batman scowled.

"We'll break out again Batsy and find our child." The Joker chuckled.

"Every time you break out, I'll bring you back personal." Batman replied.

"It's a date then." The Joker laughed.

Batman throws The Joker into metal garbage cans. The Joker hits his head on the brick wall and is unconscious. Batman goes back upstairs to Harley and tosses her over his shoulders.

"Let me go." Harley ordered him.

He drags The Joker and carries Harley back to Arkham Asylum. They lock her and The Joker back up.

"What about the baby?" Commissioner Gordon asked.

"I think I know someone that will give him a good home." Batman told him.

Batman takes the boy home to live with him. He renames the boy Michael Thomas Wayne.

Kind of short and dorky how Batman easily captures The Joker and Harley but, it gets better hopefully.


	2. Some Protection

Chapter 2: Some Protection

It's now four years later since The Joker and Harley had their son. Jake or Mike as Bruce Wayne named him has blonde hair like Harley and brown eyes like The Joker.

"Daddy's home!!" Mike yelled as he ran to the door to greet his 'Father'.

"Hey Mike." Bruce said as he embraced his 'son'.

He picks up Mike and walks with him into the kitchen.

"Good afternoon Master Bruce." Alfred said as he greeted Bruce Wayne.

"Afternoon Alfred." Bruce replied.

"You're guest is here." Alfred explained to him.

Bruce places Mike down and goes into his office to meet his guest.

"Mr. Wayne, we finally meet in person." His guest said as Bruce entered his office.

"Mr. Martelli." Bruce greeted him.

"You can call me Jason." Jason told him.

"I need a body guard Jason." Bruce told him as he sat down.

"Sounds great, when do I start as your body guard?" Jason replied.

"Uh, you're not going to be my body guard Jason." Bruce then told him.

"Then who am I going to protect?" Jason then asked with curiosity.

"My son Michael." Bruce explained.

"Let me get this straight, you want me to be a baby sitter?" Jason then asked.

"Not a baby sitter a body guard for my son." Bruce then explained.

"I don't deal with kids. I'm sorry Mr. Wayne." Jason replied.

"Trust me Jason; you'll definitely have a higher salary then any baby sitter." Bruce then said.

"No amount of money in this universe will make me a baby sitter." Jason scoffed.

Bruce slides a price over to Jason.

"Everybody has a price Mr. Wayne and I just found mine." Jason smiled as he accepted the offer.

"Please, call me Bruce." Bruce then told him.

Bruce and Jason shake hands. Jason grabs his black leather jacket and his black bike helmet.

"Be here tomorrow at nine in the morning." Bruce told him as he walked Jason out.

"You can count on me Bruce." Jason said as he started his motorcycle and rode off.

"Master Bruce, tell me you didn't hire that member of Hells Angels to watch over your son?" Alfred asked him.

"He's not in a biker gang Alfred. He's an ex offensive lineman. He played four years at Gotham Central and was an All American at Gotham City University. He also played defensive line in college." Bruce explained.

"Where did you find that cretin?" Alfred then asked.

"He worked as a bouncer for one of my functions." Bruce told him.

"He seems to be a little rough to handle a four year old sir." Alfred then stated.

"With my enemies Jason is the right man for the job." Bruce then commented.

"I hope that man can deal with Master Michael's real parents." Alfred smirked.

"For Mike and Jason's sake let's hope they never escape from Arkham Asylum." Bruce said.

At Arkham Asylum.

"Mr. J, how are we going to break out with these ankle buzzers on?" Harley asked Mr. J.

"Be patient Harleykins." The Joker laughed.

"I miss Little J." Harley said with tears in her eyes.

"Don't worry Pumpkin. We'll see our boy soon enough. I found an old friend to keep an eye on our Little J." The Joker laughed as he embraced Harley.

The door bell rings at Wayne Manor and Alfred answers the door.

"Good morning sir." Alfred said to Jason who was wearing dark shades at the time.

"Call me Jason." Jason said to him.

"How are you this morning Jason?" Alfred asked him as he walked in.

"Never better Big Al." Jason replied.

"Call me Alfred." Alfred told him.

"Sure thing Al." Jason told him.

"Alfred. It isn't a difficult name to pronounce. Mike who is four years old can pronounce it." Alfred commented.

"Speaking of Mike where is he?" Jason then asked.

"He's in his room." Alfred then told him.

"Thanks Al." Jason said as he headed to Mike's room.

"It's Alfred!!" Alfred yelled up the stairs to Jason.

Jason walks into Mike's room.

"Hi." Mike said as he saw Jason.

"Hey, there little guy." Jason replied.

"You want to play?" Mike asked him.

"No thanks." Jason laughed.

"Please, play with me?" Mike pleaded with him.

"No." Jason told him.

"You have to play with me." Mike then told him.

"I don't have to play with you; all I have to do is make sure that you don't get hurt." Jason then explained.

"If you don't play with me, you'll hurt my feelings." Mike sniffled.

"I meant physically not emotionally." Jason then said.

"Please." Mike pleaded with him again.

"No." Jason replied again.

Mike starts to cry and Jason doesn't know what to do.

"Is everything fine up there Jason?" Alfred asked from downstairs.

"Everything's fine Al. I can handle this." Jason replied.

"For the last time it's Alfred!!" Alfred yelled.

"I get it. Thanks for telling me Al!!" Jason yelled back.

Mike is still crying.

"What do I have to do to make you stop crying?" Jason asked him.

Mike hands Jason an action figure.

"Play with me." Mike told him.

"Will you stop crying?" Jason then asked.

"Yes." Mike smiled.

Jason starts to play with Mike.

"Thank you." Mike said to Jason.

"No problem kid. Anytime." Jason sighed as he felt his dignity evaporate.


	3. Present Day

I'm sorry I haven't updated this fan fic in a while. Please continue to read and review this fan fic.

Chapter 3: Present Day

Jason now lives at Wayne Manor. After Alfred's death Jason took over the house work along with watching over Mike. Mike is now eight years old. The Joker and Harley are still in Arkham Asylum. And Bruce is still Batman.

Mike walks in the house after school.

"You are so embarrassing." Mike said through his teeth to Jason.

"Next time don't talk to your friends for fifteen minutes while I'm in the car waiting like an idiot." Jason explained.

"You didn't have to honk the horn and tell everyone that I had to get to my doctor's appointment about a skin irritation that I don't even have." Mike scowled.

"You are so spoiled. I had to walk home everyday from school." Jason told him.

"You didn't have someone to pick you up?" Mike then asked.

"My Dad worked two jobs." Jason replied.

"So, you know how I feel." Mike then sighed.

"You have someone to take care of you. I was on my own." Jason then scoffed.

"I'm going out." Mike told him as he grabbed a jacket.

"You should change out of your school uniform first of all and second of all you have homework to do." Jason told him.

"Come on; let me slide just this once." Mike pleaded with him.

"Mike, you're not four anymore. That's not going to work." Jason told him.

"I'll go to the joke shop and come right back I promise." Mike told him.

"That place creeps me out, all those freaking clowns." Jason replied.

"So, I can go?" Mike then asked.

"Not until you do your homework." Jason told him.

"Alfred would have let me slide." Mike then replied.

"I'm not Al. Go start your homework." Jason then said.

"You're not my Dad." Mike scoffed underneath his breath as he went to do his homework.

Jason shakes his head after hearing that comment. Mike is doing his homework with his i-pod head phones on as Jason walks in. He takes off Mikes head phones.

"I was listening to that." Mike scowled.

"Do you really want to go to that joke shop?" Jason then asked.

"Is this a test?" Mike replied.

"Are you almost finished with your homework?" Jason then asked.

"The only subject I have left is Math." Mike explained.

"Multiplication or division?" Jason then questioned.

"Both, my teacher wants me to do these ten multiplication and division questions." Mike then said.

"I'll help you." Jason told him.

"I have a better chance of answering these problems correctly, then you do." Mike smirked.

"All right wise ass. What does x equal if 2x + x 0?" Jason then asked.

"I don't know that." Mike answered quickly.

"The answer is 0." Jason then told him.

"That's an eighth grade question." Mike then complained.

"I thought kids that went to private school were smarter then kids who went to public school." Jason smirked.

"Just because, I go to a private school doesn't mean I'm a super genius." Mike commented.

"It's doesn't mean you're a genius either, it just means that your family has money and can afford it." Jason then explained.

"I'm in all the AP classes." Mike sneered.

"Do you want my help or not?" Jason replied.

Mike sighs and Jason takes that as a yes. Jason helps Mike with his homework.

"Okay, I'm finished can we go now." Mike said.

"Fine, get your jacket and we'll go." Jason sighed.

Mike grabs his jacket and they head out the door. They get into Jason's Nissan Altima. He still has the Harley but, Bruce doesn't believe its safe enough for Mike to ride on.

"Here we are. Jake's Joke Shop." Jason said as they pulled up.

"I still don't why it's called Jake's Joke Shop. The owners name is David." Mike said.

"Jake's Joke Shop sounds better then David's Joke Shop." Jason explained as they got out of the car.

They walk into the store.

"My favorite customer." David smiled as Mike walked in.

"Hey David, what's up?" Mike asked him.

"Nothing much how about you?" David then asked.

"I'm just looking for something special." Mike replied.

"I have just the thing." David said as he went into the back.

"This place creeps me out." Jason commented about all the clown stuff in there.

"I think it's pretty cool." Mike replied.

David comes from the back with a box.

"What's all this stuff?" Jason asked him.

"The last time The Joker was arrested I went to his hideout and found these items." David explained.

"Awesome." Mike smiled.

Mike goes through the box and finds a squirting flower that The Joker wore.

"This is so cool." Mike said as he took out a gun.

"Mike, put that back." Jason told him.

"Relax Jason." Mike told him.

Mike points the gun at the ground and pulls the trigger and a flag that says 'BANG' comes out.

"Your father would kill me if he knew that I let you buy that gun." Jason commented.

"It's a harmless toy." David told Jason.

"That's what they said about the slingshot when it first came out." Jason then replied.

"I'll take the squirting flower and these playing cards." Mike said as he looked through the playing cards and saw all Jokers.

Mike buys the squirting flower and the playing cards. When they get home Mike goes up to his room and tosses a card at his wall. To his amazement it gets stuck in the wall and he discovers that the cards edges are sharp. He accidentally cuts his finger on one of the edges of the cards. He puts disinfectant on it and cleans it out. He then places a band aid on his finger.

At Arkham Asylum.

"Joker you have a visitor." A guard told him.

The Joker is brought into a room with a straight jacket on.

"Mr. Joker, it's been a long time." David told him from behind protective glass.

"Well, this is a surprise." The Joker laughed.

"I saw your and Harley's son today." David told him.

"Do tell." The Joker smirked.

"He has blonde hair like Harley and your eyes." David then said.

"Interesting." The Joker commented.

"What's interesting?" David then asked.

"I haven't heard from you in five years. No phone calls, no letters, not even an email." The Joker replied.

"I'm here now." David told him.

"Not for long." The Joker grinned.

"Batman was on my case. He probably knew that I was your inside man." David replied.

"What happened that you didn't get that bodyguard job?" The Joker then asked.

"Please, Mr. Joker I tried but, this Jason guy he looks like he's in a biker gang or something. I couldn't compete with that." David explained.

"I gave you one simple task Dave and you couldn't even do that." The Joker laughed.

"What do you want me to do?" David then asked.

The Joker smiles evilly at him.

"I'm not killing any one." David told him.

"You don't have to kill someone. I just want you to get my son back so, me, Harley and Little J can be the family we were supposed to be." The Joker told him.

"What about Jason?" David then asked.

"I have something special in store for him." The Joker then laughed so hard he fell out of his chair.

The guards help The Joker up and bring him back to his room.


End file.
